81. “To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.” – Unknown
82. “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason
83. “Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.” – Oprah Winfrey
84. “Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.” – Christopher Marlowe
85. “Experience is that marvellous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.” – Franklin P. Jones
86. “Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.” – Jerry Seinfeld
87. “Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.” – Unknown
88. “Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?” – Unknown
89. “It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?” – Ronald Reagan
90. “A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” – Fred Allen
91. “They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.” – Unknown
92. “See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” – Robin Williams
93. “First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.” – Steve Martin
94. “I hope that after I die, people will say of me: ‘That guy sure owed me a lot of money.'” – Jack Handy
95. “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.” – Erma Bombeck
96.“Life’s disappointments are harder to take when you don’t know any swear words.” – Unknown
97. “The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.” – Unknown
98. “At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.” – Ann Landers
99. “If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.” – Unknown
100. “Make yourself at home… clean my kitchen.” – Unknown
