dating

The Art of Asking a Girl Out (and Getting a “Yes”!)

Got your eye on an amazing girl, but too nervous to sweep her off of her feet?

If the very thought of asking her out on a date makes you hyperventilate, you came to the right place. We’re here to show you how even the shyest person can muster up enough confidence and charm to ask a girl out… and get a “yes”.

Asking a girl out is not rocket science. All it takes is some confidence and a good game plan. If you master the art of charming a girl and asking her out, you’ll be able to do it with your eyes closed (although not literally, because that would probably net you a ‘no’!)

Before you roll up your sleeves and put on your suave moves, you have to ask yourself one question…

Is the girl attracted to you?

If you know for a cold hard fact that the girl is not attracted to you whatsoever, maybe you should give up on her and move on. However, if you’re a die-hard romantic who utterly believes that she’s the right one for you, by all means keep wooing her and maybe she’ll get a change of heart someday!

If you’re unsure about whether or not she’s secretly pining after you, don’t let your doubts hold you back. Michael Jordan once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

If you constantly catch her staring at you with hearts in her eyes, we just have one question for you: what the heck are you waiting for? Go in and sweep her off of her feet before it’s too late! As much as she may like you right now, she won’t pine after you forever if you don’t do anything about it. Strike while the iron’s still hot!

Don’t plan anything dramatic.

As much as Hollywood movies would like you to believe otherwise, a song and a dance with a rose in your mouth probably won’t net you a date. In fact, you might end up with an embarrassed girl who can’t muster up an answer, especially when the whole town’s watching. Even if the girl has the biggest crush on you, she’d probably feel so pressured that her answer might not be genuine.

Instead, take it easy. Plan to ask her out casually when you’re both alone.

Decide on a simple date idea.

You can’t ask a girl out on a date without letting her know what you have planned. If two girls asked you out on a date, and if the first one simply asked, “Wanna go on a date?” and the second one suggested grabbing a picnic basket before checking out that new park downtown, which girl are you more excited to say yes to (considering you’re actually keen on the idea of having a picnic in the park)?

Simply deciding on a date isn’t enough. There are as many bad first date ideas as there are good ones. Rock climbing may sound fun, but it might get you rejected because some girls find an adventure on the first date too extreme, or pointless because there will be far too few chances for you two to click with each other. You should also nix the idea of taking her to a party or a group outing. The point of a date is to get to know one another, and it’ll be difficult to accomplish when there’s a ton of people around. What about dinner and a movie? Not only is it ridiculously cliché, it’s too formal and it might put too much pressure on the girl.

So, what should you do? First, find out what the girl’s into, and then plan a date that will let you spend time getting to know each other in a comfortable setting. If she loves the outdoors, plan a hike in the woods. If she’s an art history buff, offer to take her to that new Leonardo da Vinci exhibit at the art museum. If she fancies herself an amateur chef, invite her over to your place where you two can try out a bunch of new recipes. Just remember that less is always more when it comes to first dates!

Pick a time when you’re both happy and comfortable.

Remember what we said earlier about striking when the iron’s still hot? This certainly applies when you’re actually asking a girl out. Once you have a fun date in mind and you’re ready to pop the big question (not that one), do it when she’s happily engaged in a conversation with you. When there’s not a moment of silence between you two and she’s laughing, you have her undivided attention and she’s having a total blast with you. That’s the perfect time to suggest going out on a date together.

Imagine talking to a girl. The conversation dies down and an awkward silence fills the room. Suddenly, the girl says, “So, yeah, we should grab a few drinks some time soon.” Would you actually want to take her up on her offer if it means that there will be more awkward silences between you two?

Now, let’s say your conversation with the girl has a great momentum going, and you two are talking about all kinds of things. You truly don’t want the conversation to end. Suddenly, the girl says, “I love spending time with you! Hey, why don’t we do this again, but at that new restaurant downtown?” How thrilled are you to say yes?

Be your fantastic self!

When the big moment strikes, just act normal! That means no corny lines. That’s probably the biggest favor you could do yourself. “Would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the science museum?” would probably get you laughed out of the room. If the girl’s into you, she likes you for you, and that means she would like anything you say – or stutter out – when you ask her out as long as you keep it real.

Establish a time frame.

While asking a girl out, there are two ways you could sabotage your chances of landing a date with her. One of them is to establish no timeframe at all. Saying, “let’s do this some day,” almost guarantees that the date won’t ever happen. Don’t try to avoid this faux pas by setting a specific time, because it could kill the conversation. Here’s a good example:

You: Let’s do Tuesday at 7 o’ clock.

Her: Sorry, I’m busy Tuesday evening.

You: Okay, how about Friday at 6 o’ clock?

Her: Ahhh… That’s not going to work, either.

The more specific times you suggest (and the more she nixes), the more awkward it gets.

Before you call this situation a double-edged sword, rest assured that there’s a good way to handle this. It’s to establish a time frame. Ask her which time the following week works best for her. For example:

You: Let’s do this next week.

Her: Yeah, definitely!

You: Which day works best for you?

Doing this will put the ball in her court, and it’ll give you two an opportunity to schedule a date at both of your convenience.

Plan the date.

You came up with the idea, so it’s only fair that you plan it. If you ask your date to schedule a reservation, pick you up, or plan any aspect of the date, she might feel a little bit turned off. This is your chance to shine, so work at impressing her with your stellar planning skills!

Have fun.

Have fun at the date! Enjoy yourself, but not without makeing sure she’s having as much fun as you are!

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